Woman vs. Grass

Grass was growing long and the sun had been shining all day. The time had come & I changed into my oldest pants, a t-shirt left behind by Orson, and hideous grass stained shoes. Time to face the eternal battle of Woman vs. Grass. I took $3 and bought gas and filled the mower. The lawnmower wouldn't start. I checked the oil, it was fine. Since I'm afraid to touch the spark plug; changing that was out of the question. (I'd pay to have the lawnmower maintenanced before touching the spark plug-- the name of it sounds dangerous.) The only thing left was the air filter. I tried to change it last year but Wal-Mart didn't have a match so I just reused it, you twist a plastic cage around the filter and then pull 'em out. To make a long story short I scraped the junk off the filter and put it back.
Then I heaved 10 mighty pulls on the cord, a quick glance across the street to see if they are looking at me and laughing. 20 super tugs at the cord- I'm transported to physical feats beyond my normal ability- pull, pull, pull. Finally there's a cough then the roar of the motor! Grandma came out to clap and rejoice at my feat. Row by row the blades crop the long weeds, leaves and grass in the front. I saw Grandma come out and pantomimed drinking so she went and got me some water (no way was I turning off the mower). The front and side lawn were quickly finished and then....I pushed it into the back. I tossed Collins toys out my way, Grandma pulled the hoses back to the front, & I push uphill and drag downhill and circle the trees and raspberries. What’s that you say? Two grandmas couldn't accomplish that much in one day? Well friend, we didn't let up until the entire property was subdued.




(Remember Spencer, copying IS the sincerest form of flattery.)