Claims of Chuck Norris

I know I posted two thingys in 1 day, so don't skip the post below. I got a Chuck Norris calander for my birthday that tells me something about Chuck Norris every month. Did you know that:

• Chuck Norris had his tonsils removed...with a chainsaw
• Chuck Norris can blow bubbles with beef jerky
• Chuck Norris lost both his legs in a car accident and still managed to walk it off
• Chuck Norris beat the sun in a staring contest
• Chuck Norris's calander goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd because nobody fools Chuck Norris
• They wanted to put Chuck Norris's head on Mount Rushmore, but the granite wasn't strong enough for his beard
• Chuck Norris picks his teeth with other people's teeth
• Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door
• Chuck Norris's house has not doors, just walls that he walks through
• Chuck Norris got his drivers liscence at age 16 seconds
• Chuck Norris doesn't wear a watch, he decides what time it is
• Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water and CAN make him drink
• Chuck Norris sleeps with a pillow under his gun.